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15 September 2008 @ 03:21 pm
I am still writing a blog called The Velveteen Indian

I am still taking pictures and posting them on flickr, as is Jason.  We also have a flickr where we put silly pictures that don't end up on the other pages- out-takes, basically.

I make jewelry that I sell in my Etsy store.  You should check it out; I am jobless, we're in foreclosure, and the barbarians are knocking at the gates so any support is greatly, HUGELY appreciated.  
09 October 2007 @ 10:52 am
 i haven't posted here in a long time, something like 39 weeks, as i'm told by my handy livejournal home page.

about four weeks after my last post, i got fired from my job at the library because they found my blog in which i mentioned, one whole time, the name of my employer and i mentioned two or three times the name of a couple of people i work with.  they said i had left them with no choice but to let me go.  so that was that; i was fired because of my blog.

since then i've gotten a new job at a florist.  it's pretty hectic and weird, but it's better than no job at all.  reed is in daycare, and is almost two years old.  kane and jude are still alien-like in their intellect and their ability to make me pull hair out of my head.  jason works at whole foods and we shop there a lot and it's pretty cool.

we've also become photographers.  we bought a very nice camera with our tax money back in february, and have been taking pictures and taking pictures and taking pictures.  this saturday we're photographing our first wedding, our first paying job as photographers.  i have high hopes.  i would love for taking pictures to be my job.  it could happen.
20 September 2006 @ 02:04 pm
i have a new blog, and i think i'll probaby use that one more than this one from now on.  i'd really love for any or all of you to check it out.

15 September 2006 @ 09:02 am
on april 2, 1969 the angel of death came for the reverend ordice rasco.
08 September 2006 @ 08:51 am

well the shit hit the fan just a bit last night.

jason let kane and jude stay home alone when he came to pick me up.  we had talked a lot about it, and we decided that this year would be a good time to start letting them stay home alone just a little bit, so they could get used to it.  kane is ten and jude is seven, and they know how to behave and all that, so we figure it's not that big a deal.  so far, they've stayed home alone a couple of times, both during the day, not for more than an hour, and everything has been fine.  jason told them yesterday that he'd be gone for an hour, and reminded them of the home alone rules (no guests, no leaving the house, no opening the door for anyone we don't know, no cooking, no messing with knives, etc.).

when we got home, the front door was open, and i asked jason if he had left it open; he said no.  so we went in, and everything was fine.  jude was watching tv, and kane was on the computer.  i asked about the door being open, and jude said he forgot to close it.  so i decided to just drop it and not pursue the whole yes-but-why-was-it-open-in-the-first-place deal.  then, i heard kane on the phone saying, "hey, mom, it's kane.  i just wanted to let you know that they're home now, so everything is okay."  jason and i looked at each other and looked at kane.  eventually, mary wanted to talk to jude, so jason took that opportunity to try and find out what was going on from kane.  kane started crying, and said that they needed to call jason but didn't have his cell phone number, so they called mary.  she didn't answer, so they left a message, and then called nana (mary's mom, who thinks that kane and jude are two precious, delicate jewels that she must caress and coddle until they're 45 years old), and left a message on her phone.  turns out they told mary (in the message) that jason had left them at home all alone for three hours and that they were scared.

cut to steam coming out of jason's ears.  he told mary that he had only been gone an hour, and that he thought they could handle it, and that they had begged to stay home and told him over and over again that they didn't want to go.  he told her that they obviously couldn't handle it, and that he wouldn't make the mistake of leaving them home alone again.  

he then told kane and jude that what they did made him look like an asshole, and that they obviously weren't ready to be treated like big kids, so he wasn't going to treat them like big kids any more.  they cried and generally freaked out (ew, can you remember that sinking, puking feeling in your stomach when you were a kid and you really messed up and got caught?), and got sent to bed an hour early.

all in all, it's not that big a deal, but i just don't want nana thinking that we don't take good care of them.  because we DO take good care of them.  and i can't really understand what happened.  i think they may have thought that making jason look bad might make their mom think they need to move back in with her.  lately they've been telling us and mary what a great school system vestavia has (where their mom lives).  and we're like, "no, they DON'T have a great school system."  that's where they were when they wanted kane to take drugs and jude to repeat kindergarten.  

i think they just miss their mom, and want to move back in with her.  but i just don't think that's going to happen, for several reasons.  first, they're doing so much better with us than they were when they lived with her.  they're making better grades, and learning more, and living a stable, normal lifestyle.  second, i think mary is accustomed to her lifestyle now.  seriously, i don't think she wants or would let them move back in with her.  she's used to doing whatever the hell she wants to do, and having peace and quiet, and sitting around and drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and shit.  i think she probably originally thought that we wouldn't be able to handle taking care of them, and that we'd want to send them back.  but now she's seen that we're doing a better job of it than she was, so she doesn't want them to move back in, because the standard is set to high now.  before, she could just act like she didn't know why the hell they were sick all the time, or making bad grades, or not doing their work.  now, they're living with us, staying healthy most of the time, making great grades, and doing most, if not all, of their work.  so she knows if they went back to the old ways, it would be obvious that it's her fault.

i think i had a third, but i can't remember it now.

i've just had so much to say lately.  i'm sorry that these posts have been so long and bizarre lately. 

i was in the car yesterday, on my way to target after work, and that song "lola" came on.  you know- "l-o-l-a, lo-la".  i love that song.  it always makes me think of family ties.  you remember malorie's goofy boyfriend nick?  he said that he wanted to sing that song to her at their wedding, or maybe they got married and he sang it to her.  i can't remember which, but either way, it was hilarious.

and, for some reason, i got so happy.  and all of the sudden i just felt like i was lighter, like something just lifted away, and i cried a little bit.  and i thought about family ties, and nick and malorie, and feeling better, and reed.

and reed.  he's getting so big, so fast, and he's just so damned cute.  i just want to eat his cheeks right off his face, he's so cute.  he throws everything right now.  he wants his keys, and he throws them at you.  then he wants his camera, and he throws it at you.  then he wants his doggie, and he throws it at you.  he turned nine months old yesterday, and besides all of the "look how fast it's gone" and "look how big he is" stuff that was going through my head, i was also thinking, "it has been nine months since i recognized myself."  and i'm finally starting to catch little glimpses of ME again.  and i wake up in the morning feeling excited sometimes.    and it is a FULL TIME JOB taking care of him, which jason and i barely manage on top of our other full time jobs.  but, hey, i live in a house with my very best friends, and that's livin' the dream, as far as i'm concerned.

and, you know, things get crazy at our house.  we're living in a three bedroom house with two adults, three kids, three cats, and two goats.  it is HARD WORK just to keep everybody clean, clothed, and fed.  add to that the fact that we all want to have fun and be happy (we are greedy assholes), and you get jason trying to get away as fast as he can and me pulling each eyelash out individually.  kane, jude, and reed?  i don't know where they were.  they must have been playing with electrical sockets or something.  dude, they're fine.  they know the phone number for 911. 

i don't feel "fixed", or anything like that, and i've got a lot on my mind as far as my own sanity is concerned.  but i feel like the fog has lifted, at least, and every step is important when you get so far down.  

i mean, after all, it's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for lola.

l-o-l-a, lo-la.
06 September 2006 @ 09:43 am
well, my mom picked me up from work yesterday.  then she and jason went and picked up jason's car from the mechanic, and then jason went and bought a new battery for my mom's car.  


so, things are going as well as they can.  we still haven't heard from the insurance company about my car.  jason tried to call them several times yesterday, but people basically said that the fellow who was going to look at the car would call us after he looked at the car.  so, we wait.

my head has been hurting since about six o'clock last night.  aspirin doesn't seem to help.  it's making me dizzy and nauseated, which makes it hard to concentrate. 
05 September 2006 @ 02:13 pm

jason called me earlier and told me that he found an alternator for his car here in birmingham for $35, which is great news.  the mechanic had told us that if we found an alternator, they would put it in and just charge us labor.  so, he went and picked it up after work, and was on his way to drop it off.

he just called, and had this to say:

"hey.  you're never gonna fuckin' believe what just happened.  ramey's car just broke down on me."

05 September 2006 @ 08:28 am
well, this has been the craziest couple of weeks i've ever experienced, i think.  

friday, jason and i spent the day relaxing, cleaning, goofing off.  we went and bought the expensive fuses for his car; i'm telling you, $80 on two fuses is a little bit much to swallow.  jason stuck them in his car, and the fan started working immediately, so we figured the car was fixed.

we decided to go out to dinner in my car.  we headed to highway 280, and decided to eat at petrucelli's; tasty italian food is always a good idea, as far as i'm concerned.  jason was driving.  we were turning left, and oncoming traffic was really slow and backed up.  280 is one of those highways that is huge and incredibly busy almost all the time.  there were three lanes of oncoming traffic, and they were so slow and backed up, three suv's stopped to let us come across.  i said to jason, "go ahead; they're letting us go."  we slowly turned across all three lanes of traffic.  as it turns out, there was a fourth lane, a right turn lane, that we didn't see from where we were turning.  by the time we saw it, it was too late to try and back up, so jason inched on through.  unfortunately, this chick in a lexus suv was flying up that lane, and she rammed into our front right bumper.  it spun us completely around- we were facing the opposite direction after the wreck that we started out facing.  she ran up on the curb, and jumped out and started yelling, "what the FUCK are you doing?!?  FUCK!!"  i was totally disoriented; i opened my door and kind of leaned out of the car and said, "look, we've ALL just been in an accident.  there's no need to start cussing."  (believe me, it astonishes even me that i was so level headed.  i think if i hadn't been so dizzy and freaked out, i would have started tearing her a new one.  luckily, i was in a daze, so i was a momentary hippy.)  she was holding her neck, and she sat down next to her car.  i walked up onto the grass and sat down and FREAKED OUT for about ten minutes.  i called 911, and told them all the details.  this really nice family who saw what happened stopped and waited with us and the other girl until the police and paramedics got there.  i never even saw the girl again; i just sat on the grass, and she just sat on the curb.  

i decided not to go to the hospital; my hip was hurting pretty badly, but it wasn't broken.  the other girl went to the hospital because she was having neck and back pain.  she was 17 years old, and was on her way to a briarwood football game.  in the end, i think we shouldn't have turned across all that traffic, but i also think she shouldn't have been driving so fast.  i mean, all the traffic around her was stopped, and she was going fast enough to spin our car completely around and knock my bumper off.  the passenger side door won't open properly, and the front quarter panel is all messed up.  my hood is crumpled up, and my windshield is cracked.  jason says the radiator is probably messed up as well.  the damage to her car amounts to a messed up headlight, and a dented bumper and quarter panel.    

i am just SO thankful that none of the kids were with us.  kane and jude were at their mom's, and reed was at my mom's.  i would have freaked out a lot worse if any of them had been with us.  as it was, my mom couldn't come pick us up because she had reed and no car seat.  we called candice, and she and kristi came and got us.  

it was a shitty night.

we all talked about how great it was that we got jason's car fixed before all this happened.  

jason got up at three a.m. to head off to work.  i got a phone call from jason at four a.m. saying that he was stuck on the side of the road; his car had overheated, and now it wouldn't start.  he was still just inside leeds, so i called my dad and asked if he could go pick him up and bring him home.  i didn't have a car to go pick jason up in, and my mom had reed and no car seat.  so, after telling my dad all about the wreck, he got up and went and picked jason up and brought him home.  he took the day off for once, and we spent saturday talking to our insurance company, getting jason's car towed, talking to the mechanic, and trying to find an alternator for jason's car.  the mechanic said it's definitely the alternator and the alternator belt, but he can't find the parts anywhere.  so jason called all the mazda dealerships, auto zone, and advanced auto parts, and can't find it there either.  we found some on ebay, but we're trying to see if we can find one in town somewhere.  

WE ARE WITHOUT A SINGLE CAR RIGHT NOW.  we both work full time, and we work completely different hours.  it was difficult sharing one car last week when jason's car was messed up.  now we have no car at all.  

jason drove my mom's car to work this morning, and my mom borrowed my aunt's car to take me to work and then drive herself to work.  things are a little bit hectic right now, to say the least.  it's beginning to look like we will seriously move to my mom's house out of necessity, very soon.  

and the best part is that I CAN'T HAVE A DAMN BEER TO TAKE THE EDGE OFF.  i am not an alcoholic, people.  i just need something every now and then to CALM ME THE FUCK DOWN.  i can't take a drive, and i'm trying not to eat a bunch of ridiculous shit.  now i can't have a beer, either.  so i walk back and forth, and take deep breaths.  

it's not working, folks.  but i suppose we'll wait and see.  today, we've got to try and find an alternator for jason's car, and talk to the insurance adjustor to find out where to send my car.  and wait.